The Joke File

topjars · **Posted:** Mon Sep 04, 2023 6:10 pm

I was sitting watching TV the other night when all of a sudden I heard what appeared to be a terrible crash out the front of my place.
I jumped up and ran outside fighting my way through a crowd of onlookers already gathered at the scene of a motorcycle accident. :bike1:

'Scuse me, 'Scuse me, Look out, Watch ya backs...' :angry9:

.

"Do you know this fellow"? said some lady.

"No" I said "That's my far king pizza!" :badgrin:

Hippy Chippy · **Posted:** Tue Sep 05, 2023 2:25 pm

Gnomeranger · **Posted:** Sat Sep 16, 2023 11:58 am

Tricky's Footnote: :evil3:

As you may have all noticed by now, if you're reposting a photo, :happy3:

etc., from a Facebook (or similar) source, without first saving it to your own PC/ mobile,
the life expectancy of your otherwise memorable piece of humour/ enlightenment/ entertainment/ wisdom can be measured in days, sometimes, even hours... :omg1:

Seejay · **Posted:** Sat Sep 16, 2023 1:23 pm

topjars · **Posted:** Thu Oct 12, 2023 7:44 pm

Oldie but a goodie

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his:

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out. "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said. "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked. “What’s your Business at this convention?"

“Lecturer." She responded. "I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

“Really?” He said. “And what kind of myths are there?”

“Well.” She explained. “One popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. "I’m Sorry." She said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name."

"Tonto." The man said. "Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba." :badgrin:

Hippy Chippy · **Posted:** Fri Oct 13, 2023 1:54 pm

Gnomeranger · **Posted:** Tue Oct 31, 2023 4:06 pm

topjars · **Posted:** Tue Oct 31, 2023 6:02 pm

How true Greg.
It astounds me how these princesses :love1:

botox perfectly good lips and end up looking liking a baboons ring piece; AND think they look better :badgrin:

FFS
Perhaps they were pissed.

I know I was when I got Woolloomoolo tattoed on my old fella in Size 48 Arial Black Bold font at The Village Tattoo only to discover he left off the last "O" because he ran out of skin :badgrin:

Seejay · **Posted:** Wed Nov 01, 2023 6:07 am

Gary, so the rumours are true about your fondness for blokes handling your shlong.... :lol1:

Was there a happy ending with the experience?

Greg, there are a couple of young indigenous girls here in Cairns that have had that ridiculous look done to themselves, along with multicoloured hair styles and so forth. I see them occasionally and it's very hard to keep a straight face when passing.

topjars · **Posted:** Wed Nov 01, 2023 8:58 am

Seejay wrote:

Gary, so the rumours are true about your fondness for blokes handling your shlong.... :lol1:

Was there a happy ending with the experience?

Greg, there are a couple of young indigenous girls here in Cairns that have had that ridiculous look done to themselves, along with multicoloured hair styles and so forth. I see them occasionally and it's very hard to keep a straight face when passing.

Never actually got a tattoo CJ - I was too chicken :goose:

I remember a birdy who got one on the Melbourne who spent days rubbing salt into it to remove it from his arm...AKA red raw :pale:

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