Just joking

Seejay · **Posted:** Wed Jun 05, 2024 7:47 am

New joke topic, and to start this one off:

Putting Shorten in charge of the NDIS.

BC · **Posted:** Wed Jun 05, 2024 9:19 am

Graeme Rhodes · **Posted:** Wed Jun 05, 2024 10:39 am

Do you mean 'shorten' common sense, humility etc etc?

Seejay · **Posted:** Wed Jun 05, 2024 10:47 pm

Stroppy Chippie · **Posted:** Thu Jun 06, 2024 12:48 am

The misused NDIS funding was only $4 billion (he said). That is what has been found to date and surprise, 90% of the providers are not registered...

topjars · **Posted:** Thu Jun 06, 2024 12:48 pm

There is not one muppet in gubment or opposition I'd vote for... not 1 [-o<

Seejay · **Posted:** Thu Jun 06, 2024 4:57 pm

topjars wrote:

There is not one muppet in gubment or opposition I'd vote for... not 1 [-o<

Sadly Gary, that's the case right across the board.

Stroppy Chippie · **Posted:** Thu Jun 06, 2024 5:21 pm

Seejay wrote:

topjars wrote:

There is not one muppet in gubment or opposition I'd vote for... not 1 [-o<

Sadly Gary, that's the case right across the board.

A problem soon to be witnessed in the UK.

Hippy Chippy · **Posted:** Sun Jul 14, 2024 11:08 pm

My neighbours recently visited Queensland :sun:

for a 'short holiday' while checking out the job scene up north and asked me if I'd mind feeding their cat :blackcat:

for the week they'd planned to be away...
I wasn't overly fussed when they rang to ask me if I'd mind feeding him :blackcat:

for a second week, because they'd both found some part-time work that would fund :money 3:

their extended stay up there.
As they'd left plenty of wet/ dry cat food, it wasn't much of an imposition, and even though the cat seemed a tad skittish, :cat1:

he would even anticipate my regular 5:00PM visits and I would actually
find him waiting at the back gate for me... :blackcat:

I guess you could say we were warming to each other...! :blackcat:

Long story short, the neighbours decided to move to Queensland, but the daughter they were moving in with was allergic to cats...! :blackcat:

You can probably guess what this was leading to... :roll:

Yup,

I've now adopted a long-haired 'tuxedo' cat, :cat1:

and we're actually getting along quite well... :yess:

We've established a hierarchy, [-X

I tell him what to do... he does what he wants...! :twisted:

Of course it has nothing to do with the fact I've spoiled him rotten, with his own luxurious bed, (although he'd rather sleep on mine,) a :shithot:

automatic electronic dry food dispenser,
a gravity-feed water dispenser and a brand new kitty-litter box, even though the little bugger still prefers to outdoors...

His fur looks a bit tatty at the moment, :blackcat:

that's mainly because I haven't bought any grooming aids as yet, then I thought he probably even needed a bath, so I went on line to educate myself on the
'whys and wherefores' and found these comprehensive 'how to' instructions :evil3:

below which sound quite practical, even kills two birds with one stone so to speak... $\:D/$ So here we go... Enjoy...!!!

How to wash the cat and the toilet at the same time...
By V1nni

INSTRUCTIONS FOR CLEANING THE TOILET:

1. Lift the lid on the toilet and fill it with 1/8 cup of animal shampoo.

2. Take the cat in your arms and stroke it gently while slowly moving in the direction of the toilet.

3. At a suitable moment, throw the cat into the toilet bowl and close the lid quickly and either stand, or sit on the lid.

4. The cat will now start the cleaning process and will generate plenty of foam. Do not be concerned about the loud noises coming from the toilet; your cat is enjoying himself.

5. After several minutes, or when the foam starts flowing out from under the seat, flush the toilet to start the “Power-wash”, then the pre-wash and then flush again for the main rinse cycle.
6. Ask someone to open the front door and [-X

ensure that no-one is between the toilet :pottytrain5:

and the front door. :terrified:

7. Get off the toilet seat and from a safe distance open the toilet lid quickly. The cat will dry off naturally due to the high speed :obey:

he will be moving from the toilet to the front door.
8. The toilet :pottytrain5:

and the cat :cat1:

are now both clean. :yess:

$\:D/$

Please let me know if you've used this cleaning method yourselves and can recommend it, :-k

as I'm still a bit new to all this Cat Dad :old:

stuff...!!! :happy:

Graeme Rhodes · **Posted:** Wed Jul 17, 2024 10:36 am

Your heart, lungs, pulse, and BP are fine. Now let me see that cute little thing that gets you, ladies, into all kinds of trouble.
The woman immediately started taking off her top and jeans.
Doc, shocked, said: No! No! Please, put on your clothes. Just show me your tongue.

Just joking

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