Just joking

Robert W Moult · **Posted:** Wed Jan 15, 2025 11:13 pm

BC, God will get you for that. :shithot:

Bruce D · **Posted:** Thu Jan 16, 2025 9:42 am

Hippy Chippy wrote:

Pinched this one from the Navy Stokers site... :yea:

I had a phone :mobile:

conversation today with a very nice young chap from Pakistan. :dark:

This is how it went:
"Hello sir, how are you today?"
"I'm very well, thank you for asking. And how are you? And, more to the point, WHO are you?"
"Sir, my name is Sanjit, and I'm calling you from Microsoft".
"Microsoft, eh? Is that a city in Pakistan? How's the weather there today?"
" No, sir - MICROSOFT, the computer company. I'm calling to tell you that we have found a problem with your computer and -"
"REALLY?? Well, that's quite concerning......"
"Yes sir, it can become very serious indeed, but thankfully I will be able to fix it for you. Now, if you -"
"No, I meant it's very concerning because you see I don't HAVE a computer".
"You don't?"
"I don't".
"Ahh, it must be a problem on your laptop sir -"
"Don't have one".
"Ipad?"
"Nope".
"Tablet?"
"Nope, I have none of those things. As a matter of fact, I don't even have a telephone".
After a few seconds of silence he said "Ah, sir, you are lying to me now!"
I said "Well, you started it!!" and put the phone down.

I normally tell them that my computer is a Comadore 64 or a Vic 20.

BC · **Posted:** Thu Jan 16, 2025 5:51 pm

I just received my 2025 Social Security Stimulus Package.......It contained:

• a fortnightly pension increase of five cents
• one Albozo ‘Let’s Get a Treaty’ bumper sticker
• a prayer rug
• a Linda Burney Speech Decoder Ring
• one coupon for a free oil change on my Tesla
• a copy of the Uluru Statement from the Heart
• a copy of Blackout Bowen’s speeches
• a copy of Charmless Jim’s book ‘How to Spend your Way to Prosperity (Using Other Peoples’ Money)’
• three Aboriginal flags

The instructions were in Arabic.

Yours should arrive soon.

Hippy Chippy · **Posted:** Thu Jan 16, 2025 6:08 pm

Good one, BC, I luv it...!!! :=D>:

Chippy Ned · **Posted:** Sun Jan 19, 2025 3:00 pm

Why do people say 'grow some balls' :?:

Balls are weak and sensitive. If you really wanna get tough, 'grow a vagina' :!:

Those can take a real pounding.

topjars · **Posted:** Mon Jan 20, 2025 6:43 pm

Speaking of balls; I heard Brett Lee (Australian fast bowler) say that he knew another fast bolwer who got a hat-trick with two balls :omg1:

Turns out the blokes missus gave birth to triplets. :badgrin:

HenryS · **Posted:** Sat Feb 15, 2025 8:38 am

General Knowledge Question

Perth Radio - Daily Question Competition, to win a CD. .......

Announcer - "What category question would you like."

Caller - "Sport please."

Announcer - "What's the name of the race that stops this nation?"

Caller - "Aboriginal." :cock:

BC · **Posted:** Sat Feb 15, 2025 11:22 am

You'll be struck off Stan Grant's Xmas list for that one Henry!

HenryS · **Posted:** Thu Feb 20, 2025 1:44 pm

PM Anthony Albanese was out strolling one morning along the pathway near Kirribilli House in Sydney, when he tripped, fell down the bank and landed in the water below.
Before the security detail guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing jumped in and pulled him out of the water.
He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.
The first kid said, 'I want to go to Movie World in QLD'
Albo said, 'No problem, I'll take you there on my special Prime Minister's airplane.'
The second kid said, 'I want a new pair of Speedo 'SHARK' bathers.'
Albo said, 'I'll get them for you, and even have Ian Thorpe sign them!'
The third kid said, 'I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!'
The PM was a little perplexed by this and said,'But you don't look like you're handicapped.'
The kid said, 'Well, I will be after my dad finds out I saved you from drowning!' :cock:

Just joking

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